In case any of you are wondering why I'm not competing in Beijing, I thought I'd tell the story of my truncated gymnastics career.
Before I start, let me explain that with my 12-15 miles a week on the treadmill and occasional bike ride, I am the athlete in my immediate family. I don't think I've ever seen my brothers even take part in a pick-up softball game at a picnic. In other words, the Hulls are not an athletic people. And when I was a kid, I was the least athletic of all of us. I was good at doing front somersaults, but that was about it as far as the normal kid tumbling and romping went. I never did figure out how to do cartwheels because I was terrified that my arms wouldn't be strong enough to hold me and I'd land on my head.
Needless to say, PE was not my best subject. By the way, does anyone remember gymsuits? The picture at the top is pretty much what ours looked like except that they were sleeveless and our name was embroidered over the vest pocket. Hideous, huh?
So let me set the stage. In spite of the retro outfit, the year is 1970. I'm in 7th grade. The Jackson 5 are singing "I'll Be There" on every radio station, and while we're standing around in the gym, we're all gossiping about what's going to happen when Michael Jackson's voice changes. (It never did, but that's an entirely different story.) My gym teacher, Miss Whatsername (sorry, I can't remember), is a young African-American woman with an afro that would do Angela Davis proud.
The time came for us to do our gymnastics unit. We were all supposed to learn a move on the uneven parallel bars. I don't remember the name of the skill, and I'm not even sure my memory of it is correct, but I'll describe it as best I can. If I recall correctly, we were supposed to place our feet on the lower bar and grasp the upper bar with our hands. The we would kick our right leg up, one, two, three times, and the momentum was supposed to somehow propel us around the top bar. And that's where my memory fails me. Did we end up back where we started, or did we somehow end up balanced on the top bar? I have no idea, and there's a good reason for that.
I remember being nervous as I stood in line watching my classmates, mentally rehearsing how I was going to do the move and scared spitless that I wouldn't be able to go up and over that bar. When my turn came to get on the apparatus, I took my position and kicked my leg up, up, up. But when I tried to push myself over the top, I just froze and gripped that top bar as though I were in danger of falling into the grand canyon. My teacher had to get a chair and pry me down off the uneven parallel bars.
That's all I remember from the entire gymnastics unit, just clinging as if my life depended on it to that top bar and having to be rescued because I was too paralyzed to follow any of the instructions that Miss Whatsername called out for how to get down.
At the time, I felt mortified. Can you imagine making such a fool of yourself at the age of 12 years old? But as an adult, I've been grateful for having had that experience. Many times, when facing something that almost paralyzes me with fear, I think of myself glued to the top bar of the apparatus, and I know I don't want to humiliate myself that way again. Whether it was learning to be vulnerable with Michael shortly after ending a devastating relationship or taking the risk of going freelance, the memory of that terrified little girl has helped me to take the step I needed to avoid paralysis.
So while I'm not competing in Beijing this week, but I'm still trying to compete in life.
25 comments:
With God spotting you, you'll always land safe...
I giggled at the gym suit - we wore those sleeveless ones, too - pale blue with the upper part having stripes. We called them "Monkey Suits" for some silly reason, LOL -
I was never a good athlete, either, although I did like the gymnastics and softball units. Everything else, I could have just as well passed on doing, heehee!
Oh, gym class.
I tried to be sick for years in high school.
I'm afraid failure had the opposite effect on me--I was always doing handsprings, splits, etc., with my friends (hence the yoga, I guess) and once I almost(probably) broke my neck trying to do a back handspring.
I just didn't put my hands down, inexplicibly.
I think that little glitch with its implications made me fearful of trusting myself.
Took me years to get athletic again, and the memory of being such an idiot stymied me, I didn't do well at cheerleading tryouts, became the unpopular girl who had to try too hard with the boys (if you know what I mean).....
Jesus, this is a sad story.
Nevermind.
I'm glad you learned from your horrific experience!
I saw the picture of the gymsuit and had a flashback. After a few moments of calming deep breaths to get my heart back to it's regular rhythm I read and so resonated with your post. I always wondered what the point of all that was anyway? Clearly most of were not going off in life to be gymnasts or pole vaulters...why not teach something for life long fitness? My nightmare was backward somersaults...I kept doing them wrong and ending up with a wrenched neck that still haunts me.
So glad you have come with good from that tough experince.
Sis, I love the term "monkey suits."
Christy, your experience is exactly the kind of thing I kept envisioning and what prevented me from doing any of those inverted moves.
Kate, I could do an entire post on backwards somersaults. In high school, during our tumbling unit, I spent two or three weeks trying to learn how to do a backwards somersault. Day after day of complete failure--except for the perseverence, which should have counted for something. I think I finally managed to do one.
What was it with those old gym classes teaching things that kids now only learn if they have a talent for it and parents with money to pay? I was never fond of the gymnastics business either. Fortunately I had a bad knee from ice skating and got excused.
Sure can identify with that paralysis. Though not the silly gym costume. We had side stripe shorts with white snap shirts.
I'm glad something good came out of that scary experience for you. I remember climbing up a big rock and having that paralyzing fear where I couldn't get down.
Here's the thing about the silly gym costume. I found the drawing on a web site about the 1950s. And our school district still had us wearing them in the 1970s. Can we say time warp?
Oh, Ruth. Memories of the dreaded PE. I love your descriptions of being "trapped" on the uneven bars. I think my lack of sense of direction also kicks in when I'm tumbling or swimming (which way is up?). Cute gym suit!
Our gym suits were similar, except the bottoms were more like boxer shorts.
I was totally humiliated by gymnastics, I can't remember ever making it over the horse.
Glad to know it wasn't just me.
Good for you for making something positive out of a scary and humiliating situation.
I remember those gym days well. We never had to do that parallel bars in junior high or high school, but we had to vault over the horse. I was always so afraid I would catch my foot and fall flat on my face. And in college I took a PE course called Gymnastics for Teachers, for some reason thinking it would be an easy class. I almost died when I found out we had to do some work on the parellel bars. I can't imagine how your twelve year old self felt.
Sorry Ruth, but I burst into laughter at that suit! We had elastic ones like that too, for while. But I hated gym, and we hated to get sweaty and get our hair messed, and taking those showers. I couldn't climb a rope, or do any of that stuff. I was good at softball, basketball and such however. I was on my period ALL the time until our gym teacher caught on...then she had a chart we had to abide by! LOL
Oh, Lord, I had that gymsuit, but in red.
Blaaah. Horrible flashbacks.
Does anyone NOT hate high school P.E. class?
Great story and application to your life. Loved it! I still freeze up, even tho I've been motified multiple times, unfortunately.
Great story and application to your life. Loved it! I still freeze up in life, even tho I've been mortified multiple times, unfortunately. You're pretty good to learn that lesson on one try.
Oh, don't get the wrong idea. I still get frozen about some things . . . like singing. I just meant the memory has helped me some times.
What a blast from the past!!! That looks almost exactly like my old gymsuit!! Blue and everything! We also had our names embroidered on the suit... and if we won any of the "Presidential Physical Fitness Awards", we put those on there too.
I also remember our warm up exercise was the song "Go You Chicken Fat Go" -- or something like that! :)
Oh Ruth, the year before I started high school PE we had those exact same blue gymsuits. The year I started, we had gold shorts and an attached gold and white striped sleeveless blouse (our school colors were black and gold--they got in the gold). I have the same memories of gymnastics that you have.
Funny, though, I grew up and became an athlete when no one was forcing me. I hate team sports; my fav opponent is myself. Unlike your family, all of my brothers were/are athletes. One of my brothers was offered a soccer scholarship, even.
But for teens having to be coordinated in front of others is a reason to just die. I never thought gym class was a good idea.
Oh, that made me laugh. I feel like I was the same way! It is true how you pull from your different experiences! I'm glad that you got over it and moved on, but that you still remember it and use it for good!
:0) Sharon
Oh I so get it. First of all, I broke into a sweat when I saw the gymsuit graphic. Yeeeeeeeeccccch!!! Help me!
I can relate to this story in more ways than I can begin to tell you!
oh ruth --I hated the monkey suits, but I loved gym class.... loved it! However, I hated the uneven bars (that's what we called them). I hated them because they were set at height and spacing for girls who were about 5'-3" to 5'-6" ...well, I was done with being 5'-6" by the time I was eleven... through high school I was more like 5'-10" and more. So, when I went to hang on the high bar, well, my feet touched the ground. So I got excused from that exercise.
maybe that's why I'm not in Beijing either!
I had that uniform!
And my daughter is amazed to hear had to do the parallel bars, horse, rings and balance beam in PE. I'm glad we did, just for the memories.
Oh yes, Ruth, I remember that gym uniform. I was soooo NOT athletic or coordinated!
Paralyzed? Ah, yes. Lately my mantra with all this change in my life is from a John Mayer song.
'Fear is a friend who's misunderstood...(I know the heart of life is good') That blew my mind! Fear is my FRIEND? Geez, I won't fight it if it is my FRIEND, I will just let it go or let it mutate into a positive force. When the paralysis hits my body I breathe deep and say it over and over and I choose LIFE over inertia.
Great blog, Ruth!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Well, Ruth, I have to admit I was wondering why you weren't competing. :) I liked gymnastics ok most of the time, except the time Coach wanted me to do a "chest drop" on the trampoline. I'd practically just gotten that chest and I did NOT want to drop on it! So I flinched at the last second, tipped too far forward and skidded on my chin across the thing - I can still feel how my feet were sort of curled up over top of me - in front of MILLIONS of fellow students... it was the high dive that I froze on, and made everyone get off so I could get down the ladder. So many memories, so many reasons NOT to be young again!
What a sweet story and reflection--you are kick-ass!
I do like the way you draw a lesson from that frozen moment and apply it to life!
As to school gymnastics, I can't for the life of me see the value in forcing children to do something they hate and can't do, while at the same time denying them the opportunity to do a sport they DO like and can do.
My memories of gymnastics are similar to yours. I had moments of quite enjoying it, but then they'd ask us to do something which scared me witless.
I loved tennis, and I loved rounders (the feeble English 'baseball') but for some reason was seldom allowed to play either.
Post a Comment