Friday, September 12
My mom is typing this for me because she doesn't trust me not to drool on her laptop. Stupid computer. She always has it on her lap, and that's my place!
My bad knee hasn't bothered me much lately, and I'm happy about that, except that Dad still won't let me play fetch very much. I'm thinking of writing Tom Brady a letter and telling him I feel sorry about his knee injury, and I understand how much it hurts and how frustrating it is not to play, but Mom says I should save my sympathy in case a Bears player gets hurt. I hate to say this, but she's kind of biased when it comes to football. Baseball too. I don't get it.
My ear infection is finally better. It was a really deep one. It made my head itch so bad I kept hitting myself with my back leg, trying to knock out whatever was growing in there. Once Mom started putting those horrible, refrigerated drops in my ear, I had some really nasty discharge. Mom says it looked like grey toothpaste. (Which reminds me, would you people tell her that dogs don't need to have their teeth brushed?) Mom says my ear is well enough now that we can go back to cleaning it only once or twice a week. I say forget it altogether, but she's not buying it.
I had a really bad day Wednesday. Mom and Dad used their angry voices with each other for a little while (see yesterday's post), and I got so upset that I stayed on my dog bed, which is under part of the dining room table where no humans ever sit. They hardly ever talk to each other like that, so I didn't like it. I tried to be an especially good dog and be really quiet, but later Dad left our house for a while to go to the "library" and I got more upset because I was scared he wouldn't come back.
Then I did something so bad that I'm ashamed to admit it, but Mom says confession is good for the soul. I went pee pee by the front door. I haven't done that since I was a puppy, and I'm three-and-a-half years old now! I thought Mom and Dad (who had come back by then) were going to start using their angry voices at me. But Mom yelled at the puddle, not at me. (She told Dad she read a book that said to do that if you don't catch the dog in the act.) After she cleaned it up, we all went for a family walk in the cemetery, which I liked, and I was happier after that. I heard Mom and Dad saying they didn't understand why I had my "accident." Mom said she thought I had too many "stress hormones" in my system, but I didn't understand what she meant because all I'd had to eat that day was my regular food.
That night, I was still feeling a little insecure, so instead of curling up to sleep dog style in our family bed, I rolled over on my back and tucked my head under Mom's chin. Nothing feels as safe as having my face right next to Mom's face. And then I snored really loud which is what I do when I want Mom and Dad to know I'm feeling emotional.
They laughed and said I was a funny dog who was neurotic and spoiled. But I don't think it's funny that I love my people so much I want them to be happy. Do you?
Anyway, everybody was happy yesterday, and I didn't have any accidents, and nobody used an angry voice except when I barked at the UPS man. Dad yelled at me for barking, but I'm used to that. Sometimes I feel these giant-sized emotions that are too big for my chest, and I just can't hold them inside even though I know I'm supposed to. I bark and bark, and then I feel ashamed afterwards. I guess maybe that's how Mom and Dad felt Wednesday.
So that's what's going on in my house. I hope everything is ok with you. And if you haven't got anything better to do this weekend, come on over and play with me. I like playing fetch, and Dad might bend the "no playing" rule for visitors.