Yes, the title is an allusion to yesterday's post, "How Happy Is the Little Stone." I want to talk about an area in which I have a lot of trouble achieving casual simplicity.
One of my biggest besetting sins is an addiction to buying clothes. It's not a question of fashion because I gave up trying to follow the latest trends years ago. It's partially about color. I crave a lot of color in my life and one way I get it is to buy clothes. It's also about projecting an image. Some days I feel more artistic than others, and I'm more likely to wear my black leather jacket and black wool beret with a colorful scarf. Some days I feel more traditional, so I might wear my camel plaid skirt and brown loafers. Some days, I want comfort clothes, so I'll wear a favorite sweater.
The last few years I've been working at reducing the number of clothes I buy. Two years ago, I gave up buying clothes for Lent. It might sound strange that it was difficult to go 40 days without purchasing a new item of apparel, but it was. Forcing myself to wait was a good experience, and since then my clothing purchases have lessened considerably. This year, especially, I've had to discipline myself not to buy new things because of our reduced income.
Ironically, one reason I've been able to be content with what I have is that I'd already acquired such a large wardrobe. One positive is that I do wear my clothes for a long time. I don't get tired of something after just a year or two. Anyway, this year I haven't really needed to buy much, and I've managed to keep my "wants" under control.
Now, I'm worried. Because of my dietary changes, I am slowly but surely losing weight, about a pound-and-a-half a month. I'm not particularly trying to lose weight; it's just happening because I'm eating differently. I'm assuming at some point, my metabolism will adjust and the weight loss will slow or stop. But some of my pants are starting to droop almost as badly as those worn by some teenage boys. If I lose much more weight, I'm going to have to have a lot of unwearable items of clothing.
I don't want to buy a whole new wardrobe. I know how I get once I start acquiring clothes. I might buy a striped pullover sweater, for instance, and within days, I'm thinking of two or three colors of corduroy pants that would go with it or the perfect shade for a turtleneck to wear under it, and the goal of putting together a perfectly coordinated outfit just consumes me. I'd rather not start.
On the other hand, I want to do what's best for my health. I could really stand to lose more weight, even if that does make my current wardrobe unwearable. It would be a case of really screwed up priorities to decide I have to stop losing weight just to hang on to my current clothes.
Sigh. This all sounds very petty and self-absorbed. I guess I'm going to have to pray and ask God to help me, so that if I do have to start buying clothes in a smaller size, I'll have the discipline not to go overboard about it.
I'm not exactly sure why I decided to post about this today except that it's been on my mind. I hope it wasn't too boring.