This is the loveseat where I usually sit in the living room. I have my quiet time there in the morning, I sometimes sit there during the day to work on my laptop, and I watch TV and knit while sitting there in the evening. Usually, I sit with my back against the armrest and my legs stretched out in front of me because my mother trained me not to cross my legs and to prop my feet up whenever possible (blood clots run in my maternal family).
In the morning when I have my quiet time, Smokey joins me. He wedges himself between my hip and back cushions, and he begs for me to pet him as I meditate or pray. This has been part of our routine since he was a puppy, and on the days when I have too full a schedule to have my devotional time, Smokey always seems a little out of sorts. Not having his morning "mom time" seems to upset him slightly for the rest of the day.
We've developed a different routine for the evening. Usually I sit there watching TV or reading blogs, and Smokey sleeps at other end of the loveseat next to my feet. About 9:00 or 9:30, I often curl up on the loveseat with my head on a pillow facing the TV and my body in fetal position. Smokey moves from his spot so he can curl up next to my chest. Usually after a few minutes, he will roll over on his back and turn his head to the side so he can tuck it under my chin. Then he snores contentedly for as long as I'll leave him undisturbed. He seems to find great emotional reassurance in this evening bonding time, and if I go too long without curling up in fetal position, he grows restless. He'll start repositioning himself and sighing loudly every 10 or 15 minutes, as if to remind me that I'm neglecting our time together.
In other ways, he is a dog that is very attached to his routines. He subjects our behavior to intense scrutiny, looking for signals about what routine we're following. He can tell, just from our morning activities, whether it is a work-at-home day, a go-to-church day, or a go-somewhere-with-Smokey day. Often, when we are finishing getting ready for church (or some other outing), he will run into his crate without being told about five minutes before we walk out the door.
Routines can be helpful for people too. They help us to be more efficient and productive, and they help us to predict what the people around us might expect from us.
But being too rigid about routines, as Smokey often is, isn't a good thing for humans. Frankly, I am not a morning person. I tend to get up earlier than Michael does, but I like to have a slow-paced, quiet morning with a minimum of interaction. Sometimes I really have to bite my tongue when Michael gets up and starts moving around the kitchen before I feel emotionally ready to have him there. One staple of my morning is making cappuccino. We use filtered water, and if Michael wanders out to the kitchen and empties the Brita pitcher just as I'm about to get water for the espresso machine, I tend to feel really annoyed. I know that he has medicine he has to take first thing in the morning, but I still sometimes resent it if he delays my routine by five minutes.
When I get like that, I have to remind myself that as helpful as they are, routines are not more important than people. Routines are meant to serve human beings, not the other way around.
Now if I could just convey that lesson to Smokey . . .
24 comments:
I find it so hard to be patient when others intrude upon "my" morning quiet time. But I'm trying to learn not to be a martinet about it.
I'm not patient when my routine is upset. Especially at work! Being a school bus driver of special needs kids, I'm constantly having to change my route due to kids changing schools, or moving or whatever, unlike a regular big bus that just goes to the stop and if the kid isn't there, oh well! I have to go door to door. My boss used to always tell me, during my evaluation, that I need to learn to loosen up and not get so upset when things have to change. I've learned that lesson and it does make for a much better workday. Now if I could just carry that over into my home life! I'm right there with you Smokey!
Lord, woman, did you jump in my head when you wrote this?
I was JUST thinking about how most of my addictions--esp. Diet Coke, which I MUST get from McDonald's, and I MUST drive a certain route--are inexorably tied to routine.
And how I need to stop that.
And I decided to do that, last night before sleep.
This morning, Rachel had to go get gas in her car and called me first thing, about 6am, being a good daughter and asking me if I wanted a soda from Mc'd's while she was out.
Get thee behind me Satan.
I am so laid back and flexible, routine is actually something I wish I had more of...but I am with you on the morning thing. I like my quiet time without anybody else up, moving around, talking...
Today, Jack got up to go hunting right before my getting-up time, and he upset the apple cart of my schedule a bit - I was doing a little tongue biting myself, this morning LOL.
Have a great day, Ruthie! XOXO
This post fits in with my Advent practice a paying attention. I wonder when my routines impinge on others? When our recent college grad came home to live for a few months, we all had to examine our routines and expectations. She is not a morning person, we are. We have settled into empty nest routines that were jarred with another person around. But it was a good lesson in living in the moment. She was only here for a few months before moving out on her own and I will treasure those days. But in the beginning, I thought my head would explode every time I saw that pile of shoes and jackets on the floor again!
We can learn a lot from the attention dogs pay, but you are so right about routine! My husband always unloads the dishwasher first thing in the morning. If he gets up around 6:30, and I am rousing, too, that's no problem. But he is a guy who gets up when he wakes up, so if it's 5 a.m., he unloads it then! There are mornings when, instead of appreciating his faithfulness to unloading the dishwasher (an even bigger help to me now that I can't stretch my arms over my head to put things away as well as I did in the past), I am irritated by the noise, at least momentarily. You give a good reminder.
I think my cats have a routine, too. And if I disrupt their routine, especially in the morning (heaven forbid I sleep too long-those 12 minutes are an eternity!), all licking breaks loose!
I wonder what routines of mine they look for...
After reading this, I realize I don't have a routine. I'm organized, but I love change. When I was teaching I loved deviation from the schedule -- any deviation (fire drill, bomb scare, pep rally, snow...). I kept me on my toes.
Routine and Jay go hand in hand - and Bailey and Max fit right in. It seems as if sometimes my life is like that movie where the guy (or was it gal - I didn't see the film) relived the day over and over.
The one thing about my routine that is constant is Bailey. He wakes me up, Sleeps on the recliner leaning up against my leg and lets me know (loudly) if I vary from HIS routine. Sometimes I think my main purpose in life is to be his human. At other times I know it is.
We had a small routine crisis at my house. The supplier for Hy-Vee grocery stopped supplying dog food for the Hy-vee "store brand" so there has been no Hy-Vee Hi-Pro dog food at the store for 3.5 weeks.
I had to break down and buy some "Alpo come and get it". Boomer and Little Eddie both rooted through their dishes with their nose, dumping it out on the floor to scrutinize the new food. They finally decided to eat it off the floor, but it was a little suspenseful!
This is good. I'm afraid that I'm very much like Smoky; I need to remember that piece of advice that people are more important than routines. ;)
I am also a routine robot. It's nice that mine also has an Otto Pilot I can use.
My cats can relate to Smokey. In fact Lucy is sitting right next to my computer now sending greetings!
Routines are necessary as long as they do not become rigid and remain flexible. I love that the sun shines on the loveseat.
I love your Smokey parables. The two of you teach me a lot! And it always makes me smile to see a picture of Smokey as part of a post.
I so know what you mean! It is different if you are mentally prepared for interuptions, noise, bright lights, etc. but when you are not expecting it and it happens, it is hard to go with the flow and just enjoy the people instead of getting grumpy. I have to do that all the time. Many times I have worked hard all morning around the house cleaning it and organizing and I have been looking forward to a yummy lunch and a movie for lunch time and someone walks in unexpectedly. I have learned to stop and really soak it in because the days of them coming in are fewer and further between!
Have a great day today!
Sharon
I agree that dogs are very observant and attentive to our routines. I can see that my routines give my dog a lot of security. Dogs and people are a lot a like - thus Dog Parables!
P.S. Forgot to add that I love your Christmas decorations here!
yes, routine....animals and humans...so important all around...
My husband and I often discuss the problems that develop when we are more task-oriented than people-oriented. We need constant reminders to each other.
Love your new Christmas-theme photo!
Smokey is a very wise dog. And you are a good human. I on the other hand was not a good human today. I took my mini dox Lucy to the groomer this morning and "forgot" about her...close to 1 pm the groomer called to ask if if was coming back any time soon?
I felt terrible and i apologized to Lucy all the way home but she's been miffed with me all day...
my excuse is that her grooming appt. was not part of our regular routine :)
I love your Smokey parables! (And really like your new masthead too.)
We and our animals are funny creatures of habit! This post brought a smile to my face. I like to get up before my husband and have some quiet time too. He gets up and starts talking and singing...sometimes it is just too much :)
I'm always amazed at how well Bear will respond to visual ques. He certainly has his routines. So much so that you could set a watch for dinner time and potty breaks.
Breaking out of routines puts me out of my comfort zone but has frequently brought me to new and exciting things.
Great post. I am very routine-oriented and not a morning person. Like you, I tend to get annoyed at my poor husband (who happens to be more of a morning person) when he intrudes on my morning time! When he leaves for work I get the house to myself for awhile and am relieved - but then feel terrible about it.
So true about dogs - they are so easy to get into a routine! Or maybe they are getting US into a routine!
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