I found that going public with my blog questions the other day helped me to sort out more of what was going on. Because of the black and white thinking with which I was raised (in both family and church), I can still be very legalistic with and hard on myself. One reason I've struggled so much with blogging is that I was searching for some sort of perfect "rule" for how much I would blog and when. I started by posting every day and then after a few months went down to six days a week. I kept that up for weeks even when I was working extra jobs.
Then when I started the Artist's Way, I said I'd post 3 or 4 days a week, and I've felt that I had to keep to that because I'd "given my word." But of course, no one is sitting around marking things down in a little notebook: "Hmmm, Ruth only posted three times this week, and she went three days without posting at all." In reality, the only expectations I'm fighting against are those inside my own head. (My husband says that I can turn almost any hobby into work.)
For now at least, I've decided not to decide. I'm going to try to give myself permission to be random and unpredictable, and then see if I can live with the tension of that. I'm going to try to make this blog a more organic thing, to post when I want to post and to leave it alone when I don't. If that organic process creates enough posts for the blog to continue, then I will be glad because I truly don't want to throw away a year of relationships and of creative effort.
I thank those of you who empathized with the tension I was feeling. It helped to know that others struggle with the question of what it means to be a good blogger.
(Editorial note: I've deleted a paragraph here that was based on a misunderstanding. If you read it in Google reader, please know that the issue was resolved.)
25 comments:
I've struggled with my blog in the past too. How much to post, what topics to include. I don't know why, but I felt like I needed to include things other people were doing... keeping up with the blogging Jones's, if you will. Anyway, I finally learned to stop sucking the fun out of my own blog and lighten up already. Have fun with your blog Ruth! I always enjoy reading what you've written.
Oh Ruth....again...I so understand what you are saying. One of the things about reading blogs is that we all skim through to try and find that 'one person' we can identify with. And I can identify! grin....you go and do what your artistic heart and soulful leanings tell you to do! And if that is a post once in a while...then that is fine. You will be moved by the 'spirit' as you are directed and after all...that makes the best posts. But you are here to journal your thoughts...channel your thoughts and we are only here to receive the blessings as we read...right? So we shall wait for those moments as you are given them. Some blessings are, afterall, not even meant to be shared. Love ya!
After I posted my comment, I realized it could be taken in a way which was not intended!
The long and the short of it from my point of view is articulated by Trish! Just do what you are called to do.
If that organic process creates enough posts for the blog to continue, then I will be glad because I truly don't want to throw away a year of relationships and of creative effort.
See...this is what I don't understand. What constitutes "enough posts for the blog to continue"? It's not as if you are paying rent for the space! ;-)
I occasionally feel guilty about not posting "enough"---and then I ask myself why I care? I'm not getting paid for it and I interact online regularly in other places with most of my readers anyway. It's not as if the blogosphere is deprived of my brilliant insights because I don't post every day. ;-)
To be serious for a moment...I blog because I'm a writer, and writing is the way I wrestle with things that bother me or consider and give thanks for joyful things. I'm not blogging for recognition or to make a living, and I don't think you are either. It helped me to recognize that blogging is, in some ways, a cheap form of therapy--so I do it when *I* need to, not on other people's schedules.
Just my .02 cents. I, for one, hope you keep blogging because I appreciate your insights (and your photos and poems). And if you only do it once a year, I'll STILL be happy to read what you write! :-)
Cheers,
Doxy
Good questions, Doxy.
Partially I did mean having enough posts so that I still get a few readers.
But much more importantly, I think I meant having enough posts for me to feel that the blog has some sort of internal consistency. It's just sort of a gut thing. It's like when I neglect my personal journal for two or three months. Then I catch myself procrastinating journaling even longer because I don't want to have to write a "catch up" entry about everything that went on while I wasn't doing it.
I know, there's no reason I'd ever have to do that with this blog. It's me having to get over my internal expectations again.
Partially I did mean having enough posts so that I still get a few readers.
For me, that's the beauty of Google Reader. I sometimes get overwhelmed by how much stuff comes through it---but I always know when you've posted, so I can come and visit. :-)
Interesting point about internal consistency--but since I am not consistent about much of anything (except procrastinating!), I guess I just don't worry about that much...
While I'm consistent about nearly everything but my art, which is exactly the dynamic I'm trying to reverse.
Thank you for your questions. They did help me think more deeply.
I just popped in to say - google reader is a wonderful thing, because I don't have to drop by every day to see if you've posted or not - I'll see it in reader moments after you post - even if it's been weeks. Don't worry about the one person who got cranky yesterday. Your true friends will tell you - do what works best for you. We will all still be here for you. I am obviously (by the state of my blog) one of those people who thinks you should post when you feel like it and ONLY when you feel like it.
I'll be around, and cheering you on no matter where this takes you.
love,
fiwa
Speaking of "cheering you on" Ruth, I cheer you on as you learn to allow yourself to be "random and unpredictable" in your blogging!
I have come to that conclusion too in blogging, a while back, and found that it's a way of opening yourself up to new inspiration and creativity and living in the moment instead of forcing the moment to meet the rules you have imposed upon your life. And not missing out on whatever God has for us in each day...which may NOT include blogging but something quite different every now and then.
He never forces, He never rushes, He wants us to BE with Him in every moment. And He has all the time in the world.
Blessings to you.
He never forces, He never rushes, He wants us to BE with Him in every moment. And He has all the time in the world.
Sara--that was absolutely beautiful. And perfect.
Thanks!
Doxy
Love it when you post... love YOU all the time, posts or not. Many of the things you've written about during the time I've been following your blog have made a difference in my life. Thank you.
I'm the person you were referring to in your final paragraph, Ruth. But I hardly recognize myself. I did not believe, and did not say, the the conversation was all some sort of manipulative plea for affirmation, or that you were asking people to "beg me to stay."
What I said, simply, was that I was not going to beg you to stay. That is an entirely different statement. It is more about me, me, me, not at all about you, you, you.
It's difficult enough to get our points across clearly face to face, and even more difficult, I see, in print.
Actually, I hope you do continue blogging, because I enjoy reading your posts and your poems and your take on things. I wasn't trying to impugn your motives at all.
Furthermore, I did say do what you have to do, what is right for you, and that we would all muddle through somehow.
I even apologized if it sounded harsh, as that was not my motive.
I do not think poorly of you, and I do not feel manipulated.
I'm sorry that you heard something entirely different.
You ain't gonna get rid of me that easily.
At least one other commenter thinks I'm "cranky"....
Thank you, Bob. I apologize that my issues clouded my hearing. I will delete that last paragraph. (I'm sorry I won't be able to delete it from Google reader.)
Ruth, I read back to see what you had said about your concerns about blogging. I've certainly had plenty of my own. In the end you must do as your heart dictates. I fully support you in that and will hope to see a post when and if you feel you can.
You will lose a reader or two. I did probably, but we blog for ourselves, whatever the reason, and that is how it should be. They are all journals in reality of what is important to us, what's bugging us, what brings us joy. It is the means we find that others are like us, or not. We see our individuality and our connection.
Girl, you do whatever works for you. Perhaps for a time it means not blogging much. Later you may return to it. Your gift is so great that you owe it to everyone to explore the possibility of being published in a large forum beyond here. Follow your heart. You'll be forever in my reader!
Blessings,
I get what you're saying about those expectations...I put those on myself too much as well. I'm keeping you in my reader. :) I think that many bloggers slow down the number of posts after awhile. The top half of on my reader page (the ones that I've been reading for a long time) rarely have any new posts. But when they do post...it's like a long awaited letter from an old friend- always welcome.
Ruth, This made me laugh, because I, too, tend to think in black-and-white terms. My husband's motto, on the other hand, is: "Why do we have to decide today?" Why, indeed?
I will echo what's already been said.....just do what works for you!! Blogging should be enjoyable, so be as random and unpredictable as you wish. You will be staying on my sidebar list, that's for sure.
I am delighted to read whatever you write. I certainly don't write in my blog everyday (sometimes not even every week), and I don't read other blogs every day either. It's a pleasure just to read your blog, and to know you have read mine.
I think random and unpredictable can be a good thing!
Your husband's comment about your turning any hobby into work made me smile.
I think I'm more of "whenever the spirit moves me" kind of woman. I don't feel badly if I have nothing to say.
I have often found myself STRESSED about needing to post something and then realizing that I am the only one who cares. I'm always afraid my readers won't come back after one or two missed days!
I too fall victim to other's expectations when it comes to my blog. When to blog, what to blog about, etc. I am trying to let go of all of that.
Outside expectations taken into ourselves. . . .I do that when I think I have to post every day. Lately, I haven't had anything to say, but still I find something.
I am glad you're in a space of waiting to see what to do. . . .take the time and don't rush.
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