A couple of weeks ago, while I was struggling with the worst of my anxiety over our finances, I was meditating and I received a message from the Lord. It was very long, but part of it was this:
You are listening too much to your fears and not your heart. Your heart knows which way to go.I am holding you in my hand. Have I ever let you go? Have I ever let you plummet to destruction?You ask for signs and wonders and reassurances. I am all the sign you'll ever need. I am God, creator and provider. You keep thinking that if you just figure out the exact course to take, life will suddenly become easy. That is a falsehood. It is one of the biggest lies to ensnare humanity. It causes people to make terrible decisions. Don't fall for it.
Even after hearing this message, I didn't quite get it. For another week or so, I continued to ask for signs that Michael would get more work or that his special project would get financing.
Then while we were on vacation, the lightbulb suddenly went on. I was still looking at externals. What I needed to be working on was my trust in God and in Michael, not obsessively checking my email for unexpected job offers.
So I wrote a prayer to use with my Anglican prayer beads, and since I have been praying it, I feel as though a heavy weight has fallen from my shoulders.
(Quick review: Anglican prayer beads are like rosaries but with a different number of beads. Each set contains a cross and thirty-three beads, which symbolize the years of Jesus' life. There are five large beads and twenty-eight small beads, divided into four "weeks" of seven. Four of the large beads are used to separate the weeks. These are called cruciforms because they can be seen as standing for the four arms of the cross. The other large bead is next to the cross. It is called the invitatory. As you pray, for each "week" you pray that assigned prayer seven times, and then you pray the cruciform prayer once, and then a week, etc. People generally do the circle once or three times.)
Crucifix: In the Name of the Living God, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit
Invitatory: Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to
accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine,
to him be glory.
Cruciform: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Weeks: Lord, grant me a peaceful spirit and stronger faith in you.
End with the Lord's Prayer.
17 comments:
Powerful post, Ruth. Thank you.
I admire your strong faith and ability to listen for the answers to your prayers. I grew up Catholic and found this information on the Angelican Prayer beads to be fascinating.
What a wonderful reminder and a beautiful prayer - I need to remember to look out and up.
Your prayer reminded me of a book I purchased and never read - Beth Moore's "Praying God's Word." In flipping through it, I remember being intriqued by the idea of literally praying Scripture.
I think I'll drag out that book and read it. :)
God bless you, Ruthiegirl.
XOXO
It's always a good reminder to put our cares in God's hands. It's how I've survived the past two years! And by golly, it works!!! :)
Thanks for this.
Pax,
Doxy, the Anxiety Queen
P.S. A friend who lived through some pretty scary times recently told me, "The difference between simplicity and poverty is the fear." I'm trying to remember that.
I didn't know there were Anglican prayer beads!! Wonderful! In all senses of that word.
Beautiful.
That's a great prayer. And I love the beads.
I get a lot of benefit out of repetitive prayer when I'm stressed. Partly b/c it's the only kind of prayer I CAN do when I'm stressed. My ADHD tendencies kick in under stress and being contemplative is darn near impossible.
But about those signs...I have discovered the more I open myself up to be aware to God's presence, the more I recognize "signs." I think it's not that they aren't there, but whether we are aware enough to see them. I have this awful feeling we might be bombarded with hundreds of them a week, and maybe we only see ONE. We're just that unaware, us dull, dim-witted humans.
Ruth, thank you for introducing us to Anglican prayer beads and how to use them.
Regarding your drawings (other posts), if you are not already familiar with J.R.R. Tolkien's short story, Leaf by Niggle, you may want to read it.
Lovely! I was introduced to Anglican prayer beads only this past year. We sometimes use them in group services at church. I like your prayer, very much.
Meditation...I've got to get back in the practice.
Hi Ruth, catching up here...I'm glad you were able to remember to trust that things will all work out. It's funny, while I don't really believe in a specific God, I do feel as if there is some force for good - maybe that is my God. I also feel as if whatever happens is usually for the best once I look back on it, so I do have a certain amount of faith I guess! Glad the prayer beads helped you.
Thanks Ruth for explaining the Anglican prayer beads which I've never really got. I'll bookmark this post to learn. I too am a worrier so I know what you endure. Blessings, and I'm glad you have found peace.
I'm glad you are feeling more at peace now Ruth.
I didn't know about this prayer devotional practice, so this was informative. I've often found the Catholic rosary soothing in anxious times.
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