Let's talk a little bit about horror stories, the things that frighten and haunt us.
One of mine is the Parable of the Talents;
For it is as if a man, going on a journey, summoned his slaves and entrusted his property to them; to one he gave five talents, to another two, to another one, to each according to his ability. Then he went away. The one who had received the five talents went off at once and traded with them, and made five more talents. In the same way, the one who had the two talents made two more talents. But the one who had received the one talent went off and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money. After a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them. Then the one who had received the five talents came forward, bringing five more talents, saying, “Master, you handed over to me five talents; see, I have made five more talents.” His master said to him, “Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.” And the one with the two talents also came forward, saying, “Master, you handed over to me two talents; see, I have made two more talents.” His master said to him, “Well done, good and trustworthy slave; you have been trustworthy in a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.” Then the one who had received the one talent also came forward, saying, “Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed; so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.” But his master replied, “You wicked and lazy slave! You knew, did you, that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him, and give it to the one with the ten talents. For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away. As for this worthless slave, throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”
Surprised? For as long as I can remember, I've had people telling me that I'm gifted. And for nearly all of my life, I have heard this parable and listened to it with deadly seriousness. I feel that I must invest my talents in ways that please and serve God, and that if I make a mistake, . . . if I don't work hard enough, if I don't figure out the right way to use my gifts, I won't just be making a mistake but committing a sin. While I don't think I'll be "thrown into outer darkness" for such failure, I must say that the parable paints a fairly vivid picture of God's displeasure toward those who don't use the gifts he's given them wisely.
This is why I experience so much angst about my writing and my art.
Since I was 23, I have felt a very strong vocation as a fiction writer, yet in the world's terms, I am singularly unsuccessful at it. Nearly 30 years, and all I have to show for it is five published stories. I have two completed novels I've been unable to sell and a third novel that is nearly done. And I can't seem to summon the energy to finish that last edit and prepare the query letter and synopsis I'll need to market that third book. I'm tired of collecting dozens of rejections. I seem to have lost confidence in myself as a fiction writer. But doesn't it seem like a waste to spend five years of my life writing a book that I don't even try to sell--not to mention disobedience toward God (according to my interpretation of the parable)? I'm conflicted, and inner conflict is exhausting.
My poetry is less burdened by guilt because I never claimed it as a vocation . . . even though many people over the years have told me they prefer it to my fiction. By not viewing it through that lens, I think I've protected it. I still seem able to do it with joy.
Now I'm starting on a new artistic quest, that of the visual arts, and I am struggling greatly to find a way to be responsible to my talent without putting the same heavy burden on it that robbed me of my joy in fiction.
So I'm asking if any of you can help me untangle my thinking. How do you interpret that parable? What does a wise and faithful investment of talents mean?
P.S. i realized from the first comment I received that I have left out part of my explanation. When I talk about being unsuccessful in the eyes of the world, it's partially about money but it's mostly about something else . . . finding an audience. What is the point of having a writing vocation if I can't find readers? That is what troubles me more than anything.
18 comments:
I've always interpreted that passage in terms of spiritual gifts. For some reason, I can't wrap my mind around a commercial interpretation since free enterprise didn't even exist at that time.
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You have used your God-given talents in doing just what you do -- the text book writing -- the lessons are valuable. They affect others positively. To judge what you have accomplished ONLY by looking at the fiction is self-denigrating and wrong.
Furthermore, you have been practicing your gifts! Do you think that God cares that you're not on the NYTIMES Best Seller list, or that you've ONLY published five works? That you haven't yet painted something worthy of hanging in the Leouvre? I think not. I do think He is saddened by your being so hard on yourself. Enjoy those gifts, Ruth.
Ruth, I think there's a big difference between success and faithfulness.
Mine is going to echo the others. Maybe the mistake in reading that passage is the fact "money" was used as the object of the story. Everyone has a very practical and secular interpretation of money.
But what you have done with your writing...did it make you a better person? Did it give you some peace and satisfaction as you worked on it? Did it keep you from being at the throats of your family members? These are also heavenly rewards.
Have you helped some of us through your blogging? Do we find ourselves more at peace from what you put to the intertubes? I know I do. Another wise use of the talent, and very Gospel in that "you give us all that you have" in your soul as you write it, and do it without shame, fear, or embarrassment.
Perhaps those "illusions" we talked about over at my blogshop keep you from seeing that you have been a good and faithful servant already.
Perhaps you are writing to the wrong audience, or marketing to the wrong audience, or as the others have already stated, writing gives you joy, you believe you are being faithful to God by doing so. We cannot see his long term goal. Your books may become quite valuable in the future to those who will value them.
Ruth, do you feel that fiction is your main love? That, if you could, that's what you'd rather be doing than the writing jobs you now have? It seems that, often, a person's favorite thing to do or the skill they most cherish isn't what they get paid to do. I think you are utilizing your basic talent of creativity and insight in a multitude of ways.
Several things come to mind. One is that His strength is made perfect through our weakness. Another, that God loves a cheerful giver. God doesn't "NEED" us the way we need Him. In the parable, the ones who pleased Him did not seem to have a lot of angst - they just joyfully did what they could with what He gave them. The one who displeased Him didn't even try to understand or bother with anything Godly. He buried it and didn't bother with it again. But if we are faithful, He can bring our writing or whatever it is to the attention of those who need it. Or perhaps it will only be for the edification of one person. You yourself might even be that person! Or He Himself might be the one it brings pleasure to. We are only responsible for being faithful. Not for the results. Rest in Him.
Many things in this post that I can relate to. I don't have any answers for you, I am sorry to say. The only thing that I know is that when I am able to create with no audience in mind but myself, that is when I do my best work. Unfortunately, because life is a bit precarious at the moment, that simply is not happening. I am not happy but holding on to the thought that this time will pass and I will blossom again.
I suffer the same worries. But that parable interprets God as a harsh so and so who reaps where he does not sow, etc. etc. And I disagree with that view. I'd like to know the scholarly history of it's translation. It could be an added parable not orignally in the scriptures, as many are.
Anyway, as to viability. I suspect you are like me - both brained. Creative and logical. I find this to completely hamstring me on either side of the "supply" venue. I am now trying to remember that all I can do is what is in front of me. That's all. And I believe that it pleases God if I use all my talents in whatever is in front of me to do. I will spread the word of where I want things to go, cheerfully. I will have faith that God's universe will take what I cheerfully complete and stitch into the tapestry that will use all my gifts.
That's the nutshell version. Don't stress. Do the work for yourself as pleases you because that's what pleases the gift. The rest is gravy.
This has been a powerful parable for me, too, for many years. But don't feel that the interpretation of one era for your life is the only interpretation. We tend to get hung up on "talents" because of our modern understanding the word, or we obsess about the expansion of money used as a metaphor for faithful living. Can you look at it another way? The kingdom of heaven is like this: we are each given some share in God's love. If we hide it, we disappoint God. If we share it, we please God. Don't forget this parable comes toward the end of Jesus's ministry in Matthew. He's about to separate the sheep from the goats, another parable about outer darkness, one that reminds us to care for those on the margins. Jesus himself may well have wondered whether his investment in the disciples would "pay off." There are many ways to play with the ideas in the parable, and they don't all have to end up with Ruth in the dark. (((Ruth)))
I want to thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I get in these mental ruts, so it helps me to hear different perspectives. I am considering many of the the things you all said and hope to construct a new and more helpful understanding of the parable and its application to my life.
I read this post last night but needed time to think about it. I am not confident about interpreting scripture but here are some thoughts. God gives us many gifts. He has gifted you with a creative spirit - one that writes to communcate and to entertian. And now you are exploring visual arts. I would say that you are exploring those gifts, not hording them or hiding them. When you write here or for publication or just for your own inner peace, you are using those gifts and I must believe that this is pleasing to God.
I have a few questions which might change your current understanding of this story.
1) Do you believe that God is a "harsh man, reaping where you did not sow'?
2) if you do not believe that God is a "harsh man" --is there perhaps another interpretation...
3) Do you really believe that God is going to throw you or anyone into the outer darkness?
As a matter of fact, there is another interpretation. Malina wrote a book, the title of which, I am sorry, I have forgotten right now... but it is contextual/historical interpretation... because, see, this story is actually an old story that Jesus tells, but twists a bit. As Christians, our hero should actually be the servant who buried his master's ill-gotten gains because he didn't take the ill-gotten gains and make more profit as someone else's expense.... our not-so-subtle distrust of bankers in our own time was shared at the time of Jesus....
So, the servant who didn't 'play the game' of a harsh and dishonest man is the one Jesus wants us to emulate....
Just because your work is rejected in the current "market" doesn't mean you have not spent your time as God has called you. Don't judge yourself by the cruelty of the harsh master of publishers and the book market.
God is not displeased with you. Keep writing. Keep drawing. (If you are making it, you are better off than 90% of all writers.) Keep exercising your gifts as best as you are able and don't worry about the "games" of so-called success.
Ruth,
First of all, I commend you for seeking to use your talents in a way that reflects your love of God. I also admire your feeling of responsibility to be faithful with what you have been given.
Here is a thought...We humans tend to be very results oriented.
"If I make money at it, I was successful."
Or, like you said, it's very important to find an audience for creative talents.
However, sometimes it's not the destination, but the journey that the Lord is interested in for us. What happens to us inside while we are creating takes us somewhere we could not have gone without it, whether we are "successful" or find an audience, or not.
Also...all those "failures" of yours, the rejection letters? All that work was not for naught. You were honing your gift. Practice, practice, practice. You gain experience in fiction writing by writing fiction. It doesn't have to sell to have made you a better writer.
Perhaps your successful project where you will move an audience is in the future and will be the result of all the writings of the past.
Also, success means so much more when there have been failure. I don't say this lightly. I have experienced it. I have had times in life where I wondered why all the experience that seemingly was for nothing...Then, years later, all that experience ended up being used and wonderfully, I might add.
Keep plugging along at both the fiction writing and the poetry, for I believe you are great at both. I know you will find your way.
I think you are a wonderful writer. I pray that you will be guided in your quest to use your gifts to bless others.
Elizabeth
A comment on your update dear Ruth --you may never know your readers. The most popular spiritual writings in some circles in recent years was written some 200 years ago in French (Sacrament of the Present Moment).... it was written for a small sect of nuns.... preserved in their library, discovered by a researcher, and is now known around the world.... Be at peace.
Ruth, I looked at this parable in the same way as you did for many years. (although I'm not sure many people called me gifted). I feel your fear and worry and think all of these reponses have been helpful. Lately, I've been looking at this parable in some other ways, a little odd, perhaps.
By the way, the parable was made more terrifying for me because I was sure that writing was my "one talent."
your PS statement really rings true for all writers I think. Almost every day I ask myself WHY I even do it - or feel compelled to write. I believe it's a gift from God - but WHY??
The temptation to both worry and legalism afflicts us all in different ways; the temptation to make blessings into burdens afflicts us all too.
You've been blessed with gifts and in my opinion God wants you (a) to enjoy - really, really - enjoy them, and (b) to bring honour to him through using them. You certainly don't write in a way that dishonours him; your wonderful honesty and your faith shine through on your blog and help us readers.
I don't think you've much work to do on (b) but if you can relax about that parable you'll be able to have fun doing (a) so much more!!
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