Not about how to treat an illness but how to seek treatment.
I have had the same doctor (internist) for about 16 years. I like her. She's my age, and she's easy to talk to.
But she's in the office for only about three hours a week. (That's not an exaggeration; that's what she told me.) She teaches in medical school and barely sees patients anymore. She'll see people for their annual checkup because you can schedule that far in advance.
However, she doesn't see people for sudden illness. Instead, if something like that happened, I would have to see her nephew or her niece who are in practice with her. (I guess it's a family practice in more ways than one.)
The niece is new to the office. She hasn't been practicing very long, and I know nothing about her other than the fact that my doctor says I'd be fine with her. I've seen the nephew once or twice, and he seems personable, knowledgeable, etc. But I prefer women doctors. (Not to mention the fact that he is young and distractingly handsome. I know that shouldn't matter but somehow it does.)
My husband sees a different doctor, also a woman. His doctor and my doctor used to be in the same office, but they split the practice about ten years ago. (Maybe to make room for my doctor's relatives???) Michael thinks I should switch. His doctor is more responsive than mine. Anytime he has tests, she calls at the end of the work day and will discuss the results thoroughly with him. My doctor has her nurse call.
Part of me thinks he's right and I should switch doctors. But I hate starting the patient / physician relationship all over. And I have this over-developed sense of loyalty. I feel guilty for considering leaving my doctor . . . even though in one sense, she has already left me.
Any thoughts? Am I making too much of the fact that my doctor has cut back hours? Or is it normal to think of switching physicians in a situation like this?
18 comments:
I think what YOU think is more important and that you may have answered your own question.
I, too, prefer women doctors. I think they listen better.
YOU are the one in charge. If your doctor does not meet YOUR needs by all means find a new one who will. Doctors are there to serve the patients. Not the other way around. Good luck.
If you can't see your doctor, change. There is no point in having a doctor if you can't see the doctor when needed.
I have a woman doctor for the same reason KathyA said. That is not across the board, but I sure like the doc I have now.
Yes, I certainly think it's normal to consider switching doctors in this situation. Find a doctor with whom you can communicate. I like that your husband's doctor calls him herself to discuss test results. (Mine does too.) I think that's pretty rare.
PS: I just asked Taciturn, a doctor, about your situation. He said if your physician is not meeting your needs, by all means switch.
I am realizing how I stay stuck in a situation because it's familiar. So I think you should find a physician who meets your needs. I'm amazed that your husband's doctor calls to talk about tests! Good luck in your discernment.
Whom would you call if you had a real emergency? As difficult as it may be, it sounds like you need to find someone else, probably someone younger. Unfortunately, the older we get the more likely it is that the experienced doctor or dentist we've relied on for years will cut back on hours or retire altogether.
Well, the first part is easy. Your doctor simply isn't in the office. She's being up front with you; at this stage of her career, she is getting a great deal of joy teaching clinical medicine. Nothing wrong with that, and people of her level of experience are valuable. I sense you pretty much accept it's time to move on, there. So move.
Now for the tougher question. Your husband's doc or starting over with your doc's niece? Your husband obviously likes his doc. (Who does her lab, that they have results back that quickly? Or do they have some tests they do "in-house?" That one is a little surprising simply b/c of what I know about the logistics.)
But here you are going to have to decide if what your husband likes in a doc is what YOU like in a doc. So that is a consideration.
Now the niece of your doc. You are probably at the age (as am I) that young docs look like Doogie Howser. But I also know young docs have to start somewhere (after all, I teach them, too) and young docs starting out in practice are of two varieties--the kind that want to change everything your old doc did, or the kind that really read up and study their inherited "established patients" in the practice. The former are a pain in the arse. The latter are wonderful, and I would take one of those with no hesitation in the practice I use, simply b/c doing EVERYTHING all over again is such a hassle.
So I would say to ask all the questions of both choices, pick one, and give it a go. If you do not like whichever one you pick, it's still very early in the relationship and switching again is not THAT big of a drawback.
Switch
I suspect that with or without Michael's own reasons for liking his doctor, she is probably quite competent. Maybe she's also working more from a "business first" model, yet without compromising patient relationships? And I agree with above comments that loyalty should have nothing to do with it, when it comes to your health and effective provision of services. So maybe the operative questions are these: 1) by staying at the practice where the "youngsters" are, will they too eventually get stetched thin, in which case you might be passed off to the cute guy, or someone new... and how might that affect your trust and objectivity in some future "crunch time"? 2) Are your specific or potential health issues of a type where "one doc fits all", or does one of these three new doctors have a specialty or style that is more uniquely suited to your body, psyche and family history? Convenience is a factor, but mid- and long-term issues are a bigger one. As for the old doc, I think you're done. Nobody needs a service provider, employee, boss, whatever, who is not available when you need them.
It seems like it would be better to establish a new relationship with a doctor that can see you during an emergency, before there's actual emergency.
It might be a good idea for the two of you to see the same doctor. Personally I have had three Dr's in one year because THEY keep leaving this small town. No loyalty here anymore. Just want a good Dr... so, go for that.
I agree with all above that you have to find a doctor to suit your needs and one who is available when you need her. The loyalty thing is hard, but as you said, she has already left you in a way.
It is hard to change but usually it works out for the best and I sense you are ready to make the change now.
No harm in seeing the new doctor and talking about some of these issues before you actually leave your current doctor. If the meeting doesn't go well, or you don't get the answers you need, you can always stay where you are, no harm done.
Good luck. It's important to have a doctor you are comfortable with and someone who will be there for you when you need them.
All points above are valid and something for you to consider. I won't beat a dead horse.
My doc (female) left the practice and I miss her. She was wonderful. Related well on several issues, being female helped.
My new doc is a male. I've seen him three or four times and I'm not impressed. He does not listen well and makes no eye contact. That bothers me. I'll be looking for a different doc.
We women get ourselves in so much trouble because of misplaced loyalty in making relationships out of every encounter. How many of us go around with awful hair because we won't switch to a stylist that is much better? I know having a doctor is rather intimate, but I have seriously compromised my health sticking with a doctor when he wasn't good for me, for various reasons. Be loyal to your friends. Be business like with your doctor.
I hate changing doctors too but I think it's inevitable now as so many things in health care change. There are many others out there you might like and Iw ould want someone available for true illnesses if needed.
Hope you can make a decisiona nd feel good about it. Sounds like it being unresolved is what's troubling right now...
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